


Waiting

by caprithebunny



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, colonist sole survivor, might not be so sad, plot twist ending, sfw, thane dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 04:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14300934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caprithebunny/pseuds/caprithebunny
Summary: Charisma Shepard is a strong woman who survived hell after hell, but when the love of her life dies... She's left to pick up the pieces.





	Waiting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hushedmusic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hushedmusic/gifts).



_ Charisma Shepard remembered a lot of things. She remembered her days living on the colony of Mindoir, believing herself safe and protected, only to have her entire life shattered. She remembered the batarians storming homes, slaughtering and capturing those she had known all her life, even the entire detail of her mother screaming for her to run, to get away, and then the blood blossoming onto her chest as bullets ripped through her fragile body. She could still hear the bullets whiz past her, hitting the trees and ground around her; her only saving grace had been her biotics reaction to her panic. She had fled into the wilderness, and had barely survived on impure water and foreign berries. Half-starved and delirious, she stumbled into a small squad of Alliance marines a week later. She nearly died in the hospital, but didn’t. She survived. _

_ Rissa had thought her life would be better after she joined the Alliance, two years after her family was murdered. She wanted to help those who may find themselves in similar situations; she didn’t want the suffering she endured inflicted on anyone else. However, it seemed her ill-fortune followed her. Six years after her enlistment, in 2178, she was forced yet again as those she cared for died around her. While patrolling for possible slaver sightings on Akuze, the vehicle she and her unit were in was upturned. As they fled, she was forced to hear and watch her unit get torn to pieces. She remembered huddling against a rock bed, not sleeping as they screamed well into the night. She was the sole survivor. It was a few days before she was found; she survived on what rations she could bring over from the crushed vehicle with her biotics. She had nightmares of that for years after. _

_ Rissa’s thoughts swirled to Virmire, and being forced to decide who lived… and who died. The choice between Kaidan Alenko and Ashley Williams, two of her most trusted companions. She remembered telling Ashley that she has to get Kaidan and Kirrahe, and how she promised to go back and find her, but she didn’t get that option. Before she could, Ashley blew the bomb, herself, and the facility to pieces. She remembered looking back through one of the Normandy’s windows at the rubble and smoke, her omnitool’s radio releasing loud static crackling through her ears.  _

_ Her memory swirled, shifted, to Saren, the council, the “end” of the war on the reapers. She remembered issuing the command to save the council at the cost of her own countrymen, and while she truly did feel horrible for doing so, she also knew having the council in her favor would help later on. She remembered asking Saren to stop, to fight Sovereign’s hold on him, but she saw it in his eyes that he couldn’t. Before she could say another word, he put his pistol to his head, and a resounding shot rang through the halls. She looked at his lifeless body, several feet below her, then watched in horror as he rose up, only it wasn’t him, but a cretin that wore his face. She sometimes woke up, many nights after the fact, with his face looming at her, his eyes crying for help but his body trying to kill her. The only solace she had after was Anderson being put on the council, and her hopes of him being able to keep things in better order. _

_ As she lay there, in the darkness, more of her life flashed before her eyes. The Normandy, being attacked by Collectors, and her crewmen crying for help as the ship was blasted apart. She remembered Kaidan running up to her, pleading with her to come on, but she ordered him away, and went to find Joker. She lifted him as carefully but as firmly as she could, ignoring his complaints. After he was in the escape pod, she had went to prepare ejection but the Collectors’ second run sent her spiraling into space. She felt her lungs scream for air as her suit malfunctioned, the oxygen she desperately needed flushing out. She struggled, her hands clawing at her back as she sank quickly towards the surface of some insignificant planet. As she hit the surface, her bones crushed and she was somehow alive for moments after, as excruciating pain throbbed through her body.  _

_ Her next memories were on Ilium, in the Dantius Towers, hunting the drell “assassin”. She remembers watching as he suddenly slid out of the ceiling’s vent system, and quickly decimating Nassana and her forces. When he finally faced her, she felt a flair of… attraction? Towards him and his voice, but she pushed it away, and then tried to completely stamp it out at the news that he was dying. She was sick and tired of everyone leaving her, and for once, she didn’t want to suffer. She didn’t want to lose anyone else. Yet, her feelings had other ideas. As the broken drell opened up to her, she felt herself falling deeply for him. She cursed her feelings for a long time, pushing them away, but she hit a breaking point when his hand brushed hers while they were on shore leave. She felt the oddly smooth skin of the back of his hand touch hers, and he didn’t move away. Whether it be unfortunate or not, she poured her feelings out right then and there, in a corner of the docks. He had looked at her in astonishment, his forest green eyes widening and his brow ridges lifting exponentially. After a few moments, a small smile twitched his lips, and he said he had also felt something for her, but hadn’t known if she felt the same.  _

_ The next few months of her life had been happier than in a very long time. When on shore leave, she spent time with Thane and his son, Kolyat, helping them forge a new connection. While on board and in the thick of her mission, she clung to Thane for comfort. He was her first in many ways… Her first love, her first real relationship, her first “time”... When she told him this, she thought he’d push her away but he didn’t. It endeared her to him even further, if that was even possible at that point. He wove himself around her heart, and she did the same to him. _

_ After the Collector base was taken down, she had one last night with him before she was “put on leave”. He told her he’d wait for her, and she knew he would; Thane would never lie to her and she knew that all the way into her soul. Even six months of no communication, he still welcomed her with open arms, and even promised her he’d keep an eye out for Kaidan. He asked her to keep going, because he knew she could save the world, and he would still be waiting after. _

_ But after never came. Her heart still ached as it did when Kai Leng’s sword pierced through Thane’s abdomen, the sound of tearing clothing and his small gasp still hummed into her ears. She doesn’t want to remember him laying in that hospital bed, and the prayers… And him finally slipping away from her. He broke his promise. He wasn’t going to be waiting for her after all. _

_ His death tore her apart on the inside. She cried for hours at night, cried herself to sleep. She flipped between brash anger and painful aching. Her chest hurt so much, she thought that would end her before the Reapers ever got the chance. His death, Mordin’s, it was too much. She lost one of her closest friends and the love of her life in barely any time at all. Yet, with all the pain she felt, she didn’t die. She kept going. He had believed in her, believed she’d win this war, and her body would go cold before she’d let him down. She fought her way, tooth and nail, and on the eve of battle, she finally rested. Her rest wasn’t what it should have been, though; she hosted her most trusted, most loved, the single light in her life’s funeral. She laid him to rest in the ocean after. She went all the way to his home to do it, with Kolyat and some of the hanar he’d known. After coming back, she watched vids he’d wanted sent to her, but never got through. She felt tears run down her face as she saw him speaking to her again, heard his voice. Wet sobs came to her throat, and it felt like she couldn’t breathe. She curled up on her bed, clutching a photo of him, as his vids replayed. She felt so broken and beat down, and honestly? She didn’t want to live without him. Not for a single second more.  _

_ The Citadel, now some reaper nesting ground. That child she had saw die at the beginning of this? Nothing more than their keeper. He gave her options on how to save the world, on how to bring peace. She stared at him, at the contraptions she couldn’t even begin to name, and finally, the swirling light in the dead center. She could end the warring between artificial life and biological, and… maybe she’d see Thane again. She went running forward, and threw herself into the light. She felt unbearable pain for a moment, as her body was ripped apart on a molecular level… _

_ And now, she is in this darkness. She felt like she was being pulled down, forever, into a pit of nothing. Was this the afterlife? Being forced to sit inside your own head till you go crazy? To relive the best and worst moments of your life?  _

Rissa was suddenly jolted awake as her lungs filled with water. She opened her eyes in alarm, and swam up, out of the dark, clear depths. Her throat and lungs burned, her eyes tried to water-

She was up, and out, spluttering. There was a shore, distantly away from her. She swam to it, not understanding what was happening, until she came into sight of… 

“Thane?!” She yelled, and his head snapped up, those eyes she knew so well widening. He was quickly on his feet, and running towards her in a simplistic robe and capris-like pants. The sun shone and glittered across his dark green and dim lime scales as he ran, and she had almost forgotten just how handsome he was.

“Siha! Is that you? I didn’t…” He pulled her from the water as her strength finally began to give out. He held her to him as they both began to sob into each other, his hands and arms gripping her tightly. She didn’t think she’d see him again, ever again, he was dead and lost…

“Th-Thane? Where… where are we?” He buried his face into her hair, and she more felt his response than heard it.

“I told you I would wait. I promised. I waited for you, I… prayed for you. I prayed for you to return to me, Siha. I didn’t… We…” He slowly pulled back, his hands still clinging to her back. She heard more voices, and as she looked to his left, she saw Mordin collecting seashells and Legion politely helping him, both talking in depth about them. She was home, with the people who needed her.


End file.
